wheel in the sky.

she has dreams of seeing the world. dreams of getting mud on her feet and leaves in her hair. she has dreams of someone by her side who will never let go. who will follow her to the end of the earth for adventure. she has dreams of loving places never visited and people never met. she has dreams of being free. dreams of never giving up. she has dreams bigger than her fears. bigger than she could ever imagine. she dreams of world beautiful and bright. and pulsing beneath her feet. she has dreams of a love so strong it will never break. never bend. never crumble. dreams of being not being like the rest. different maybe. she dreams in color. with new eyes. she dreams of so much more. her dreams fill her head. every second of the day. unable to come out. she doesn't know how. but that's alright. she knows. she's known. she dreams of music filling the air. dreams of the ocean surrounding her. dreams of a vacation that may never end. that's all she can hope for right? in a world where so much is expected? where she is defined not by who she is, but by what she writes down. or her answer to a question. perhaps much isn't expected at all. perhaps its very little. she dreams of breaking it down. 

& so they ran

Freedom is:

letting go

the chase

forgiveness

a bright blue sky

the wilderness beneath your feet

the roar of an engine

the crashing of waves

a starry night sky

running...

young

forgetting fear

love

a brisk wind in the evening

not knowing

not caring

simple

a life long adventure

& so they ran, hand in hand, into the unknown world before them. they may not be perfect, but they know. they know its all worth it. all worth it in the end. in unspoken glances when everyone else is around, in soft whispers when they are all alone. they know. freedom. its what they need, its what they want. and the only way to achieve it, is to chase it down together. so there they'll be: being young and stupid. making mistakes, chasing their dreams. being free. because that's what we need right? just a little freedom, from the people around us, from the ties holding us down. to take the hand of the one beside you and never look back. everything will be okay in the end, & if its not okay, then its not the end. 

just because I like this song. 

into the valley rode the 7

"     the wind was warm, their laughs were loud. there were seven of them. best friends. the people who supported each other and occasionally made jokes about each other. even though the words were never said aloud, they all knew. it was love. an undying, unfailing, unconditional love between a group of friends who would never let each other go. no matter the distance between them, they knew. they would never let each other go.
        they piled into their cars. three of them. the moon was bright, the roads were empty. the only noise to be heard was their blaring music, their high pitched laughs, and their yells out the windows. faster. faster. until three digits appeared on the dash. they were idiots. but they were young. and they thought they were invincible.
         they were. as they nearly looked death in the face, they knew. slowing down, they knew. they knew they were crazy. they knew they were dumb. but they knew their love for each other was invincible. screaming, yelling, laughing, and holding hands, they escaped a now funny tragedy. a memory that will never be forgotten.
         it was a summer night. with 7 friends. all who loved, all who laughed, and all who refused to live less than amazing. little did they know that this bond would take them through a year of change and wonderful surprises. into the valley rode the seven. not 300. no matter what came their way, they knew. they knew they could handle it together. so with unspoken love, and undeniable differences, the 7 took on the world. or at least their little piece of it. all because of one stupid summer night none of them will ever forget. they are forever tied together by their memories. no matter the distance, no matter the circumstance, they will always love. "

you keep my feet on the ground

I believe we all have defining moments. Now whether those are good or bad is a different story. But I think they all have the same outcome. We have these moments that show us if we are really the person we thought we were. I think everyone makes mistakes. The gravity of those mistakes vary from person to person. Some being small, others seeming unfathomable. But I still think that these great mistakes define our lives and where we are. Perhaps these mistakes are a wake up call that tell us we need to change our attitude, or our outlook on others. and then again maybe they are there for some mysterious reason God only knows. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even if my own stupidity caused the action to warrant said future reason. Sometimes that reason is to make us stronger, sometimes its to show mercy, and other times its just to teach us a lesson. patience is said to be a virtue. a virtue that I just so happen not to posses. perhaps my current defining moment is to show me just that. now that is not to say I wish everything had happened how it had. God no. If it were up to me I would be taught a much a different way than my current situation. but I guess my only way of coping is to try and learn something from my mistakes. I always try to, and occasionally I succeed. All mistakes aren't created equal, so our lessons from each are always different. but just imagine how much better things would be if instead of dwelling on our mistakes and misfortunes, we learned from them? these defining moments would change the world. you all know that I have learned a lot outside of NCSU walls in the past two years, and right now I am learning yet again. Six weeks in another country taking classes and I don't actually learn something until I get home. I am learning what its like to mess up everything and have to patiently wait for forgiveness, if it ever comes. I am learning how to forgive myself and how to function on my own. As much as I would rather not be alone, I guess I better learn now since I have so much free time. Sometimes you need to see what life is like without someone in order to realize how much you want them back in it. & sometimes God just slaps you and says "you need to talk to me". that's probably  it. I just think we should let our mistakes make us, into better people, into better friends, rather than break us. Its going to be a long summer just waiting, but I hope in the end it will be worth it. never in my life has my heart (which I no longer possess either) ached so bad. and its only been 3 days. I hope absence really does make the heart grow fonder and I hope that the love I believed so strongly in with every fiber of my being doesn't come to an end. but I'll be here, waiting. because what doesn't kill you, even if you think it is, always makes you stronger.

from across the pond

so this is my first post from the other side of the Atlantic..kinda crazy if you ask me. As my 6 week stay here is beginning to wind down (literally only a week and a half left) I am almost more sad to leave. In the past six weeks I have:

• made 30 new best friends that I will never forget and who will always have a special place in my heart
• eaten an unhealthy amount of doner..which for you Americans reading this, IS INCREDIBLE. kinda sketch..but oh so good
• walked probably 12938462376912356 miles
• lived without AirConditioning which I never thought I could do
• stayed out until the middle of the night with people from all over the world
• stayed in my first semi-sketch hostel
• spent way too much time in a charter bus
• been yelled at by hotel staff on more than one occasion
• washed my laundry in a bathtub
• visited some of the best cities in the world
• and finally, I CROSSED THE DAMN OCEAN. sounds babyish but I've never done it before so I was pretty stoked

This has been one wild ride and I have loved every second of it. For the things have gone wrong: I have learned to bitch about it for 5 minutes then shut up and just take it with a grain of salt. This place really has changed my life. I guess sometimes in order to clear you head and get a better look at yourself and where you are, you just gotta go.. Take that little leap of faith and just go for your dreams. Don't worry about leaving things behind because I have learned that the important things will either come along with you or be there waiting for you to return. That's precisely the reason a piece of my heart will be here forever, because I'll be back someday. I promise. But for now I will focus on relaxing and enjoying spending time with the people I love most...and travelling to Alaska in a little over a month (no big deal hahaha).

peace&love
A

trading my...

People change. For the good, for the bad, and for the nothing at all.

mountains after Everest

as the world is slowly trying to push through the cold hard wintery ground and push into spring, I'm beginning to realize that every season is a great one. Whether its spring summer winter or fall its yet another day and season to love this life we've been blessed with. As the warm sun beats down on your face next time, think of just how beautiful and precious our lives really are. Learning about issues in countries all over the world and watching the Olympics makes me feel so incredibly small. Like, I am one person in one city, and there are millions of people 17 hours ahead of me. Its crazy. Sometimes you just need a good dose of reality and you just need to feel small. & not just "oh I'm one student out of 35,000" but the "woah. I'm nothing compared to our world as a whole" it makes my heart break. It makes my heart break to know that I will never be able to see every last inch of it. Every last inch of this beautiful, scarred, marvelous, and hideous world that we live in. With all of its flaws and all of its majesty I have come to learn that that is something I must learn to do to myself. Accept the fact that I'm imperfect and that I change my mind and that sometimes I just don't make any sense. The world can teach you a lot actually. Although people always talk about how shitty (excuse my language) it is, sometimes you have to learn from the bad stuff. Learn that no matter how many times you are pushed down you have to get up. That if you are sick and tired of starting over (like I am) quit giving up. Quit saying "I'll do it tomorrow" hell, cram it all in today and make the most of those short 24 hours you have today, ya know why? because you may not get them all tomorrow. Quit Quitting. (can I say that?) oh well, I'm going to. Stop trying to start over when you make a change. Make a change in your life or behavior and keep right on rolling. The more you "start over" the more you're gonna quit it again because it gives you another chance to "start over". No one starts over, life keeps beating on whether we want it to or not. Its not stopping. I've learned that sometimes you just have to say "screw it I'm going for it". and risk everything you have to make sure your life isn't wasted worrying about some unimportant little detail, like a grade on a test, what's for dinner, or getting your hair done just right. You've got to remember that everything you have been so graciously blessed with in this life, can't be brought with you to Heaven. at least that's what I've been told. So, spend all your money traveling the world, skip a day of school to sit on the grainy sand beaches and watch the sun come up, get caught up in the moment and be thankful for every last thing that you have.