you keep my feet on the ground

I believe we all have defining moments. Now whether those are good or bad is a different story. But I think they all have the same outcome. We have these moments that show us if we are really the person we thought we were. I think everyone makes mistakes. The gravity of those mistakes vary from person to person. Some being small, others seeming unfathomable. But I still think that these great mistakes define our lives and where we are. Perhaps these mistakes are a wake up call that tell us we need to change our attitude, or our outlook on others. and then again maybe they are there for some mysterious reason God only knows. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even if my own stupidity caused the action to warrant said future reason. Sometimes that reason is to make us stronger, sometimes its to show mercy, and other times its just to teach us a lesson. patience is said to be a virtue. a virtue that I just so happen not to posses. perhaps my current defining moment is to show me just that. now that is not to say I wish everything had happened how it had. God no. If it were up to me I would be taught a much a different way than my current situation. but I guess my only way of coping is to try and learn something from my mistakes. I always try to, and occasionally I succeed. All mistakes aren't created equal, so our lessons from each are always different. but just imagine how much better things would be if instead of dwelling on our mistakes and misfortunes, we learned from them? these defining moments would change the world. you all know that I have learned a lot outside of NCSU walls in the past two years, and right now I am learning yet again. Six weeks in another country taking classes and I don't actually learn something until I get home. I am learning what its like to mess up everything and have to patiently wait for forgiveness, if it ever comes. I am learning how to forgive myself and how to function on my own. As much as I would rather not be alone, I guess I better learn now since I have so much free time. Sometimes you need to see what life is like without someone in order to realize how much you want them back in it. & sometimes God just slaps you and says "you need to talk to me". that's probably  it. I just think we should let our mistakes make us, into better people, into better friends, rather than break us. Its going to be a long summer just waiting, but I hope in the end it will be worth it. never in my life has my heart (which I no longer possess either) ached so bad. and its only been 3 days. I hope absence really does make the heart grow fonder and I hope that the love I believed so strongly in with every fiber of my being doesn't come to an end. but I'll be here, waiting. because what doesn't kill you, even if you think it is, always makes you stronger.

from across the pond

so this is my first post from the other side of the Atlantic..kinda crazy if you ask me. As my 6 week stay here is beginning to wind down (literally only a week and a half left) I am almost more sad to leave. In the past six weeks I have:

• made 30 new best friends that I will never forget and who will always have a special place in my heart
• eaten an unhealthy amount of doner..which for you Americans reading this, IS INCREDIBLE. kinda sketch..but oh so good
• walked probably 12938462376912356 miles
• lived without AirConditioning which I never thought I could do
• stayed out until the middle of the night with people from all over the world
• stayed in my first semi-sketch hostel
• spent way too much time in a charter bus
• been yelled at by hotel staff on more than one occasion
• washed my laundry in a bathtub
• visited some of the best cities in the world
• and finally, I CROSSED THE DAMN OCEAN. sounds babyish but I've never done it before so I was pretty stoked

This has been one wild ride and I have loved every second of it. For the things have gone wrong: I have learned to bitch about it for 5 minutes then shut up and just take it with a grain of salt. This place really has changed my life. I guess sometimes in order to clear you head and get a better look at yourself and where you are, you just gotta go.. Take that little leap of faith and just go for your dreams. Don't worry about leaving things behind because I have learned that the important things will either come along with you or be there waiting for you to return. That's precisely the reason a piece of my heart will be here forever, because I'll be back someday. I promise. But for now I will focus on relaxing and enjoying spending time with the people I love most...and travelling to Alaska in a little over a month (no big deal hahaha).

peace&love
A